As I’m writing this, one of my favourite times of the year is approaching: Easter time has always occupied a special place in my heart, more so than Christmas.
It reminds me of freshly-baked Maltese sweets, sombre processions and churches decorated with scented flowers and hundreds of candles, open till late at night for the faithful to undertake what we call the 'seven church visits' - visiting seven churches in a row and praying at each one.
Nowadays, I am not involved in Easter festivities as much as I used to, as I turn more towards nature than to cultural traditions in order to find my inner peace and balance.
That said, I acknowledge the wonderful capability of certain familiar smells, sounds and sights to uplift us.
I still delight in the smells of Easter-time, particularly those freshly-baked desserts, as well as the smell of growing wheat and flowers in the countryside.
But one thing that I’ve noticed in myself and others is that, as we grow older, we often allow these little details to pass us by.
We forget how to be mindful, and instead we fret and pressure ourselves, hoping that our holidays - if we have decided to take any at all - are going to be 'good enough' or 'painless enough'.
Negative thought patterns can dominate our lives
Very often, there are plenty of negative situations that we automatically give our attention to; from political scandals to global warming, social injustice, to more personal injustices and challenges like health struggles or relationship issues.
Some of these situations will feel totally out of our control, and, if our feelings about them are left unchecked, they can rob us of our sense of empowerment and joy. After all, our brains have evolved to be negatively biased, which means that negative situations tend to dominate positive ones in our lives (Psychology Today).
Constantly thinking about these situations and putting one’s attention on them can turn into a nasty habit that doesn’t serve you.
This habit leads to the constant generation of negative emotions, among them helplessness, despair and cynicism - exactly what you don’t need if you want to recover from anxiety and other chronic symptoms, including mindbody (formerly known as psychosomatic) symptoms.
Rediscovering joy in the neighbouring woods, with my dog April.
Shifting your Focus to allow beauty and positive experiences into your life
If you look around you, if you slow down and allow all your senses to take in your surroundings, you may start to notice some simple yet delightful details that can change your mood and eventually, your dominant emotional state.
In this overwhelming world full of complexities and problems, it's these very small details that we may need to turn toward.
Joy can be found in choosing to turn your attention towards something beautiful or uplifting.
It could be something as simple as a majestic treat, a trail out in nature, a lake, a dog’s enthusiastically wagging tail, or the look of joy on a child’s face at the playground. The more you look out for them, the more beautiful details you will find!
That said, most of us do have to initially work very hard to redirect our negative thoughts towards better-feeling ones, and to really make way for positive experiences.
If you tend to suffer from a victim mentality, or to be very critical of the world around you, it gets even more difficult (and let's face it, everyone slips into the victim or critical mentality now and again!)
But it gets better as you practice. It's a way to rewire your brain out of fear - and also out of chronic pain!
It's what I did to get out of my own pain. I decided to focus on what I could enjoy, instead of on what I couldn't do.
At the time, swimming for a short stretch of time was the only thing I could enjoy with minimal pain. And so that's what I did - almost every single day. As I immersed myself, I fully took in the smell of the sea, the sensation of the water against the surface of my body, and the reflections of the sun on the water.
As I created repeated positive experiences in this way, these eventually helped me reduce the stress response and victim mentality that I'd been caught up in. But the experiences needed to be repeated and as close together as possible, because it does take a while for the brain to adopt a new pattern.
As a side-effect, my symptoms started to fade until I could pursue other enjoyable activities besides swimming. And from then on, my journey out of pain proceeded at a faster pace.
Two steps to Redirect your Focus and let go of Resistance
If you're trying to figure a way out of chronic pain or symptoms, and you find yourself caught up in repetitive negative emotions and thought patterns, here are two steps to take (and these are as important as any program or techniques you're implementing!):
Let go of your expectations regarding what you ought to be doing or enjoying, and simply take in and enjoy whatever is accessible to you right NOW.
Let go of any guilt or 'shoulds' as you are doing this - you deserve to treat yourself to whatever you've decided.
It all comes back to Resistance…
These two steps will help you let go of Resistance, which is ultimately the key to healing and wellness.
Resistance refers to any desperate wish to change or control a situation.
If this state of mind is replaced with a more mindful and allowing state, your nervous system will enter its parasympathetic state, which means you'll no longer be stuck in fight or flight (i.e. stress mode).
And since being in fight or flight is the main reason why TMS chronic pain persists, then you might just find that the pain will fade away more easily...
The process of redirecting your focus towards accessible beauty and joys can become a new habit that cultivates a new state of mind that is less resistant to negative situations and more open to new possibilities.
And it is this altered state of mind that we should be aiming for if we are depressed or if we feel like victims to our chronic symptoms.
The side effect could be a significant reduction in your symptoms, and a marked increase in calm, peace and happiness levels.
Just try it out, have some patience, and watch the ‘magic’ unfold.
Need more help with Chronic Pain?
I offer Pain Recovery Programs to guide you through a step by step process. Find out more here.