Overpowering Pain - a key mindset shift that will help you heal from TMS!
If you know that you’ve got TMS, but you’re still very fearful of pain OR very upset whenever it manifests, then this one’s for you. Today I am going to show you a way how to treat TMS pain by tackling the powerlessness and helplessness that often crop up in relation to it. Let me start with an analogy that I really love to make, that of the child and the bullies.
Ben and the Bullies
I would like to introduce you to Ben, a 13 year old kid who is having some problems at school. Ben is a nice and sensitive guy, but unfortunately some kids in his class have picked up on his sensitivity. It started with one other boy, who found it amusing whenever Ben look so bothered and offended at his comments. This bully started to make snide remarks to Ben whenever he had the chance. He made fun of Ben's choice of clothes, his glasses, the way he walked and talked and anything he could think of!
Soon enough, the bully's peers started joining in, coming up with rude and snide remarks of their own. The more they observed Ben react with defensiveness and looking upset at their behaviour, the more they kept going at it!
Naturally, Ben felt miserable. He wished he could simply not go to school, or that somehow, these boys would be punished for their behaviour, or even expelled. He felt like an unlucky victim, powerless and unable to change the situation. He even asked the headmaster to change his class, but was told that this was not possible.
Then one day, Ben's mother found a great therapist for him. The therapist pointed out that he could do nothing to change the external situation, and that he has to accept that these boys will still be in his class for years to come.
But although he had no control of these circumstances, he did have control over one thing - his own reactions. She told him to make an effort and face his bullies' snide comments with a dignified smile or shrug next time, and put on an 'I couldn't care less' attitude.
It took some practise, but Ben eventually mastered it. He focused on enjoying his time with his own friends, and he met the bullies' remarks with a laugh or a light-hearted (but not defensive) comment of his own - he even learnt how to laugh at himself!
In a couple of weeks, Ben realised that the bullies seemed to be giving up on him. The remarks were not so frequent anymore. A couple more weeks, and the bullies no longer found any amusement from picking on Ben. He was free of their presence, and remained so. A year later, he even made friends with one of his ex-bullies!
Stop feeling upset at your pain!
It is the same with chronic TMS pain, my dear reader. The more 'offended', frustrated' and unlucky you feel with regard to pain, the likelier it is to persist.
If you know anything about TMS, you would know that the pain serves as an effective distraction or 'warning sign' that things are not quite ok. For this distraction to work, you need to give it enough attention, by monitoring it and 'feeding' it with certain feelings.
But if you decide to stop feeling like a victim to your pain, if you start reacting to it differently, in a more neutral, and even light-hearted manner (yes, you can even learn how to laugh at your pain!), the distraction will no longer be effective. The brain realises that it's simply not working. And the beauty of it is that you can start and extend this mindset shift to other areas of your life and feel more powerful!
Becoming pain-free is always a side effect of such a mindset shift.
My own pain went away when I stopped indulging in the victim mentality, when I started to respond to pain in a more ‘I don’t care’ sort of attitude. It took a while, because this reaction was so unfamiliar to me. After all, it is difficult to smile when you feel a sharp pang of pain! But it got easier the more I increased my confidence in the TMS diagnosis, and the more I realised how my emotions were affecting my pain levels.
If you are not yet at this stage, don’t worry. You are where you are meant to be. Take my TMS Questionnaire and make sure you exclude any serious underlying conditions. Once all things point to a TMS diagnosis, start addressing your old ways of thinking and KNOW that the power lies within you. You CAN do this!